Maz, things you have missed...a collection.

2008-11-01T14:27:00.000Z

2008-08-30T00:35:00.004+01:00

Mass/Maz Effect

"A small furry mammal walks into a bar and orders a drink.  T
he bartender
says, "Sorry, our occupancy is only 6.02*10^20."  We
can't serve a mole."

What a laugh,anyway, someone already has their hand on the nobel prize f
or this year. It requires no introduction.

I give you, Maz' 1st

2008-08-25T23:19:00.005+01:00

EXCLUSIVE - SHENMUE 3

Shameless Ukresistance type post.

The Jackpie, returned frum Infest 2008 not with pictures of him dressed unsuitably...or with pictures of kebab shops he visited (tho' he probably did) but with good news - The First Screenshot Of Shenmue 3!!!

You can see just how much it's improved from Shenmue 2 - Shown Below for comparison. And if Max, they guy who I blatantly stole this from is correct then it looks like the mirrors from the end of Shenmue 2 is directly linked with Bradford. Crikey! My hunch is that the sword that was floating in mid air ends up in the tshirt aisle of the Zavvi on the right, between one of Kurt Cobain and Heath Ledger. The poetic justice.

Areas are set to include the first Morrisons supermarket and a QTE fancy bit based on the film 'Rita, Sue and Bob Too'

Disclaimer - The photo was stolen from an american dude called Dan. And Grambles, like the rest of the popultion never got to the end of either shenmue 1 or 2 but reads about it on Wiki then pretends that he actually did it. Wow, that wacky phoenix mirror...eh?

2008-08-25T22:07:00.004+01:00

PM Praise For Local Boy

Associated press (AP) - Prime minister Gordon Brown today took time out to congratulate a local boy for his stunning recent efforts. In what he claimed 'exceeded everything' that was accomplished by Team GB at the Olympics. Grambles has succesfully watched 57:31 of the film Postal before giving up, smashing both the olympic and world record by over 7 minutes. Grambles stated that he wanted to try and watch the whole film but his eyes gave up.

"I actually felt better within myself but my eyes just hadn't recovered from the marathon," she said.

It has totally crushed me emotionally

Grambles

The film as it happened

"There was just nothing in there. I thought I could keep watching even pace but my eyes just tightened.

2008-08-15T11:54:00.002+01:00

If I Was Sam Jackson I'd Be Shitting Bricks

2008-08-14T23:26:00.004+01:00

In case you've been living under a rock or in Sweden...

R.I.P. - Bernie Mac

R.I.P. - Isaac Hayes

Morgan Freeman - FTW!

2008-08-14T01:11:00.003+01:00

Don't look now...

...he's at it again. Lock up your daughters 'cause Alans gone crazy, and he's set to rape more than just your gamerscore. In an all new installment, Alan is...

2008-08-13T19:24:00.000+01:00

Introducing...........Phil Collins

2008-07-27T22:51:00.007+01:00

Sunday Supplement Report – 20/07/08

Dear Maz.

Just want to let you know in case you don't remember, last sunday we went to bier hof for some pizzas and a beer. You couldn't walk as fast as us due to your dodgy foot and drunken state, also you had mentioned doing the old henry hoover on some persian rugs the night before. You were quite rude to a gentleman on the walk up sausageroll st when he offered you a light in return for what he thought was a spare cigarette.

Anyway we had quite a good time at the bier hof. Me and Grambles split some pepperoni and spicy sausage pizzas between us, Alan had the Duck a la Rocket, and you had the Halal chorizo. We stayed on for a couple more beers and a coke for Alan Attack, you paid up and left us to go on a sex hunt. The last anyone would see of you for several days.

So in conclusion:

bag of speed - £30-
half bottle of buckfast - £2.99
taxi to getting your hole - £8-
failing to make it into work the next day, and feigning illness via email into the bargain - £PRICELESS

PS: I heard on the grapevine that a certain Peruvian shepherd was very angry at losing his cardigan and you've to return it immediately.

2008-07-14T22:20:00.002+01:00

Don't tell Burns.

Best Tshirt ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-07T23:19:00.000+01:00

Good game, good game

2008-07-07T20:25:00.000+01:00

BEST HOLIDAY EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-02-28T02:56:00.000Z

Tonight on mythbusters....

Jamie ends up pissed at a goth night and ends up pulling asian celebrity chef Nancy Lam. Adam isn't too pleased and has to go for a soothing bath to cool himself off.

Tune in next week for another exciting edition of: People Who Don't Really Look Like People But We Say Look Like People Looking Like People (Sponsored by Tennants)

2007-02-04T11:29:00.000Z

The mazen formulae -

X = (Y-1)+(Q*1.2358)

Where
X = The truth
Y = The story told (always base minus one)
Q = Number of witnesses present
1.2358 = The maz constant, applied due to a history of story telling.

Therefore, using the above formula find the truth to the following statement.

I had a nice kiss with three barmaids. There was no witnesses.

Answers on a postacard to Glen Michaels Cartoon Calvalcade, STV , Scotland.

2006-12-23T10:54:00.000Z

Message to Sweden -

Get it right.

2006-11-12T12:59:00.000Z

Coming Soon -

2006-09-17T22:26:00.000+01:00

Alan wiill bii thii onlii one who giits thiis but.

Watch the Iwata gets knocked down.

2006-09-17T17:15:00.000+01:00

I Love To Power Glove - It's So bad.

Please dont ninty.

Clicky

2006-09-15T12:04:00.000+01:00

I dont have as much time as you lazy student layabouts. So, here's big Divine

2006-09-14T12:07:00.000+01:00

I call this artwork, Grambles Afro Caribious

2006-09-14T00:35:00.000+01:00

PAINT FIGHT!!

No, not throwing some white gloss emulsion over each other, but rendering images in paint for some fun. Note - a lot of free time and not much of a life is required, ie. Ryan anytime hes not learning swedish with immigrants, Grambles anytime hes not bossing immigrants about train tracks, Mazen any time hes not being an immigrant, me anytime im not baulking at immigrants, Alan any time hes not trying to give tech advise to immigrants.

First the original pic.

Now the rebuttal.

The gauntlet has been toroughly thrown down, get to work boys.

2006-09-09T17:59:00.000+01:00

Sweden V EBM

So Burns is in deepest darkest Sweden (Hello Sofie!) And Paul is in deepest darkest EBM (Hello Marion!). But I decided to find out wat was better - Sweden or EBM? So roll up! Roll Up! Come and discover the delights of this scientific and completely unbiased Face Off, in the blue and yellow corner the sverge and in the black and black(with a glowstick) is the Electronic Body Music-ers.

ROUND ONE

Googlefight - always a favourite.

And.....HOLY SHIT!!! Sweden wins.

1-0 Swedes.

ROUND TWO

Music is the big thing here and the only way to check this - as comparing musical heritage would be a one-sided fight for the richest europeans. So Last.fm tags it is then.

Drum Roll... Scrolling in at number 87 is EBM - where does Sweden stand...Number 86. Point Sweden. Interestingly, both are 9 places below the tag "Canadian". Oh dear oh dear.

ROUND THREE

EBM has to win this one to compete in this best-of-five. FANDANG. Lets check out the pictures...

EBMs finest (Luna Vachon)

and Sweden wins by default.

3-0 Sweden.

Wow, didn''t expect that one.
I wonder if EBM would have won on the other rounds of furniture sellers, meatballs and countries that resembles flacid penises.

We'll never find out now...

2006-09-07T23:08:00.001+01:00

REPOST : FIXED THE SHITTY LINK

We all know good ol' Wes is long gone, so it cheers us up to reflect with this little gem (read 'mentalist'). A relative perhaps?

I can just hear it now:

I HATE THE CRAZY ASS DEVIL
HE TALKS TO ME IN MY HEAD LIKE AN ASSHOLE
THAT CRACKA MAKES ME HURT MYSELF REAL BAD
I CUT MYSELF IN THE ARMS WITH A BOX-CUTTER

I CUT THE SUCKA'S HE-AD OFF
I CUT THE SUCKA'S HE-AD OFF
I CUT THE SUCKA'S HE-AD OFF
I CUT THE SUCKA'S HE-AD OFF

ROCK OVER LONDON, ROCK ON CHICAGO
SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS

2006-09-07T20:36:00.000+01:00

Celebrity Face Off

Ryan as Cheeky Bastard

http://thatvideosite.com/view/1073.html

Grambles

Alan as Penfold

Paul as divine

Mazen as Reveen

as Blanka (stealing waens)

as Ricky

as Napoleon

2006-09-03T12:36:00.000+01:00

i·ro·ny (ī'rə-nē, ī'ər-)
n., pl. -nies.

1. The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.

2. An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.

3. Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs: “Hyde noted the irony of Ireland's copying the nation she most hated” (Richard Kain).

Synonyms: backhanded compliment,Paul Cooper, banter, burlesque, contempt, contrariness, criticism, derision, humor, incongruity, jibe, mockery, mordancy, paradox, quip, raillery, repartee, reproach, ridicule, sardonicism, satire, taunt, twist, wit